Labels

Hi guys!

Thank you so much for all of the positive feedback I got from my last post! It honestly meant the world to me that so many of you were able to get something out of my writing. And that was my intention; to try to help you guys, even if it's in some time little way. So yeah. I'm back. And I'm here today to talk about labels. Ah, labels, how I love you and despise you. We have a love hate-relationship.

Now, I really don't want any of what I'm saying to be taken the wrong way. I am not against labels. I swear, I'm not. It's just that sometimes they can get a little pesky. There are many different kinds of labels that we all encounter in our everyday life. We wake up and pour a bowl of cereal, checking the nutrition label on the side to make sure we're not overshooting our calorie goal. We go to the supermarket and check products for "organic," "farm raised," "nut free," "vegan," and "cruelty free" labels. We associate ourselves with certain genres of music, labeling ourselves with the titles of "punk fan," or, "more of an alternative kind of person." The same goes for movies. We tell people, "Oh, I don't watch that show. I'm not that into cable dramas," or, "No, I didn't see that movie because I'm not a fan of slapstick comedies." And then there are the bigger labels. We turn on the TV and look to see what the Republican party members are doing. We vote for people, generally, within our political affiliation. At birth, we are given a physical certificate covered in labels: height, weight, time, and gender. As babies, we are given girls gifts or boys gifts. We buy store-bought cards labeled with "birthday: boys" and "birthday:girls." We start going to the doctors and they tell us where we stand on the hierarchy of height and weight. We are labeled as overweight or underweight, or even skinny or fat. And then we hit school age the pelting of labels begins. Cliques start to form. We are labeled as artsy or athletic, smart or dumb, emo, popular, not popular, goth, nerd, geek, theater kid, band kid, debate kid, art kid, musical prodigy, gifted, alternative, preppy kid, drama queen, teacher's pet, and countless others.

And at a certain point, whether we like it or not, we begin to label ourselves. Let me rephrase that; we're always labeling ourselves, but at a certain point we start to do it consciously, or because we may or may not feel like we have to. Some examples include the labels I listed above, and another big one, for me, is sexuality. Usually, by middle school or high school, we are expected to know our sexuality, whether or not our parents, friends, or others around us approve. We must be gay or straight or bisexual, transgender or cisgender. Boy or girl. For me, and for a lot of other people like me, these labels can get confusing, and the pressure regarding our unspoken obligation to claim them can become stressful. Some common thoughts I've heard regarding labels and sexuality and gender include

"I think I'm bisexual, but I've only ever dated boys. Should I just say I'm straight?"

"I was born a boy and I feel like a boy, but sometimes I dress in more feminine clothing. Does that mean I should start identifying as female?"

"I mostly liked girls, and I can't imagine having sex with a boy. But when I was younger, I only liked boys. Was that just a phase? Should I com out as lesbian? Pansexual? Bisexual? Demisexual? Polysexual?"

This, for me, is where labels start to get tricky. It's when we feel like we need to start limiting ourselves, that these labels get restrictive. In the examples I've given above, individuals might not feel, difinitevly, that they fit one of these labels, but they feel pressured to choose one. Now I want to clarify something: THIS IS NOT THE CASE FOR EVERYONE. Plenty of people grow up with a strong sense of their gender and sexuality and have no problem giving these things titles. And that's a beautiful thing. But for the rest of us, at least I believe in my humble opinion, things can get hard when the labels go on. But for some others, labels can be incredibly beneficial. Finally, they have found an identity that they feel comfortable in, whether that be sexual, gender, social (emo, goth, etc.,) or even musical (going back to the 'punk fan' example.) Labels can help individuals meet others with whom they can relate, and perhaps even bond over shared interests.

So what do we do about labels? Do we protest them? Do we antagonize them? Do we take to the streets and resist them? Or do we embrace them? Do we celebrate them? Do we accept them as a way of life?

We don't have to go overboard on the labeling, but we don't have to outlaw it. That would, quite frankly, be a disaster. There's a reason we have those "vegan," "cruelty free," or, "gluten free" labels. People with gluten allergies don't want to be walking around accidentally consuming a substance that will make them ill. For me, personally, it's important to know that the food I am buying is cruelty free, as I try to be conscious of the sources I get my food from. It can be useful to label albums with genres. People tend to have unique music tastes. If one, let's say, likes blues music, labeling a section of a record store as "blues" might help them easily find more music they enjoy. On the flip side, if If you feel comfortable labeling yourself, go ahead! There's no one stopping you! But I don't it's fair to place labels upon others, without their permission.

Especially in our current political climate, labels are being thrown around like there's no tomorrow, and we start to dehumanize those who we can easily apply labels to. What's the matter with making fun of someone if they're a republican? Or a democrat? In doing this, we are forgetting one thing: that although we might identify ourselves as different than these individuals, we can all identify with one thing, and that is that we are human.  So why not put that first? If we can stop using such restrictive and divisive words upon first impressions, we an immediately remove a layer of bias. So let's start like this: You are a human. I am a human. We probably both identify in ways more specific to just being human, but we know that we are both human.

And maybe, just maybe, we will start to see each other a little better.

Until next time, fellow human,

Shira